see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
