I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
