doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
