Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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