Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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