I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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