why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
