I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We named our party play list daddy issues
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize