apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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