I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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