gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
