Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
