does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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