It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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