Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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