I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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