Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
