i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
