Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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