Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
