Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
