Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
