i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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