i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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