Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Never underestimate the power of titties
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
