apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize