Midget sex pt 2 tonight
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
