i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
