I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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