I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
