I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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