Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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