but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
