I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls should come with a carfax report
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize