I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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