Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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