my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
