So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
