u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
