so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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