i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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