i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
