If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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