i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
