chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
