Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
