I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
