Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize