A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
