it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
