i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
