He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.