i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.