i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
