I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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