Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
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I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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