There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
