they need to just BURY HIM!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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