the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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