On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
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Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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