Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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